In the old days of business, a manager would command and control. He (it was usually a he) didn’t need to worry about building trust. However, today, leaders who want to drive their business forward use more sophisticated and modern methods.
In 1990, Joseph Nye of Harvard developed the concept of ‘Soft Power’. It’s a method of persuasion that involves attracting and co-opting people, instead of coercing, using force or giving money. If you want to become a successful leader, you need to display successful powers of persuasion, and high levels of emotional intelligence. How do you do this? The answer lies in getting your team to trust you.
There is a strong temptation, when you admire others, to imitate aspects of their personality. However well intentioned this is, your team will sense the falseness. Always be genuine. Have faith in your abilities. Without this foundation, anything else you do will be doomed to fail.
Everybody wants bosses to be strong and capable. You need to be able to find solutions when things get really tricky – and your shoulders need to be broad when big problems arise.
Interestingly, though, if you never show your vulnerabilities, you could forever be regarded as unapproachable and it’s difficult to build trust from such a position.
It means occasionally confiding in one or more of your team that you, too, find a particular task stressful or that you have to work hard at something to get it right. This helps people to see you not just as their boss, but also as a fellow human being with whom they can have a genuine working relationship.
How many times have you given feedback to people who have been genuinely shocked? It’s often difficult to see oneself as others do. However, the more you can see yourself objectively, the better placed you are to work on areas that might be blocking your ability to build trust.
The useful personal development technique – 360-degree feedback – is an ideal tool for this. You and your team evaluate your behaviour. You then receive a report showing the difference between how you perceive yourself and how others do. It’s a remarkably easy and powerful way of identifying where to start on self-development, to make yourself more easily trusted.
The problem with giving feedback is that it’s often negative, dealing with areas for improvement. As a result, managers either don’t give feedback or (trying to be kind) give it in such a saccharine way that it’s useless. This inevitably causes mistrust, because your team members want to improve. They know they’re not perfect and they want to improve so they can enjoy promotions and increased pay.
Happily, there’s a straightforward solution. Firstly, you need to realise that the kind thing to do is to give the feedback, not hold on to it. Secondly, give feedback in a way that is received well. There are numerous techniques you could adopt, but the role of ‘framing’ is essential. By using framing, you can make it very clear that your intention is to help your employee. You ask their permission to do so. With this established, you can go on to give candid feedback. Your team members will know that you can be trusted to tell it as it is.
Finally, always tell the truth. This doesn’t mean disclosing confidential information, nor does it mean volunteering information that could damage morale. It does mean, though, that you need the courage to say ‘I’m sorry, I can’t tell you that’ or ‘this is how it is, and this is how I’m going to help you’. The moment your team suspect you are being dishonest, you’ve lost them forever. If you tell them the truth at the right time, in the right way, you will earn their trust and their respect.
Trust takes a long time to build, but a very short time to lose. Despite the considerable investment needed to earn trust, it’s worth the effort!
Copyright © 2014 Heather Foley, consultant at HR technology and software provider etsplc.com