Notes from a ‘board meeting’ (9/2/2010)

By: Ross Campbell

Date: 12 February 2010

Ross (manager): “Welcome everyone, I trust you’re well. Item one: whether to invest in a company branded doormat.”

Ruth (marketing): “A company-branded mat will create a more welcoming entrance and make us look more professional.”

David (finance director; deep, gruff voice): “Make us look more professional? How exactly will a mat make us look more professional? Unless, of course, you intend the staff to wear it?”

Ruth (slightly squeakier now): “Professionalism is about the whole package, David.”

David: “How professional are we going to look when we go bust because you keep buying all this frivolous rubbish?”

Ruth (really squeaky): “If you don’t stop thinking like that, we’ll never go anywhere.”

Ross (calm, obviously): “Ok, David, can we actually afford the mat?”

David: “...........................(long pause)....................................... Er, yes”

Ross: “Ruth, do we need the extra gold tassels or will it still be fit for purpose if it’s bright pink and hardwearing?”

Ruth: “.......................(Not squeaky at all).................. Mmm… We don’t really need the tassels, no....”

Ross: “Right then, got there in the end, didn’t we? Let’s buy the mat.”

Of course, my company has but 10 staff, including me. We don’t have a boardroom or a marketing expert called Ruth or a finance director called David. I don’t know how other business owners make decisions, but when it comes to cost-benefit analysis, this type of things usually works for me.

Ross Campbell, The Exercise Club

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